as it is....

She

2012-02-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

She's got these habits,
I've seen these habits,
Today I've ingrained these habits
Let's hope it's not to late to change my habits.

Work Segregation.

2012-02-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

Trust and Obey, for there's no other way.

Break Me Down

2012-01-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

Cause I need to feel this weak,
I need your touch to feel this need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, Break me, Set me free.

Multiple task...

2012-01-29T12:20:00.001-08:00

Having multiple task and each of them can't be finished in one sitting.

Learning to think long term and being okay with long processes.

Many a thought I have

2012-01-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

So many things to think about, but none as important as you.
So many things to think about, the question remains, what should I do?

Other note, I'm so close to finishing my thesis. So Close!. Only three sentence of math deciphering remain. Three sentences!!
This is all due mid-night. Hmm, I am hopeful. It's hard to believe I've come this far with this project. Something that I couldn't wrap my head around just 4 months ago, is making sense now. Strides of progress have been made this week, HUGE strides. I realize that sometimes omitting some of the reading gives you a better picture of what you're suppose to understand. Tearing things a part piece by piece and looking at them individually before seeing how they interact with one another.

I can taste the finish product, as long as my professor clears this when he reads it. HAHAHA. That should be fun.
Your logic always sounds right to you, until someone looks at it. Let my logic stand true.

HOOBOY.

Believe

2012-01-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

I've come to see that my perspective of how my life will turn out can change radically by a belief or an experience.

I didn't think I would consider such options for my future, but suddenly I am. I suppose I have you to thank for that.

Indirectly, you've open up my eyes to the new possibilities that I had shut out before.

You made me consider, what if? And slowly I'm considering other what if's and I like what I'm seeing.

I'm beginning to believe in myself a little more. I've found a confidence in considering new options.

Suddenly, the world seems like my oyster and I'm not afraid to reach for it.

My parents are thankful that I'm considering more options for life after college, and I suppose they have you to thank for that.

We may never see each other after College, the possibility is there, but the writings aren't final. But Whatever the outcome,

I'm glad I'm having this experience, because I've seen the light, and it is good for the eyes to see the light.

Perspective

2011-12-22T22:25:00.001-08:00

Suddenly, things are taking perspective...
God help me.

Unexpected

2011-12-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

Unexpected beginnings, appearing when you never expect them to come, not knowing they were possible- Awesome.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T10:31:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for God's provision over the past 8 months of my life and over the next 6 months to come...
I'm thankful for His mercy that allows me to approach Him and find help in my time of need...
I'm thankful for His grace that gives me what I need when I need it,
I'm thankful for the discipline He gives and the passion He has for my life, and I'm also thankful for the rest I can find in Him
I'm thankful for the emotional, mental, social and spiritual support He has given me, who knows what a wreck I would have been

I'm thankful for the times He has provided windows of opportunities through conversations with my friends
I'm thankful for His love that reminds me how important it is to be open with others even though hurt will come,
and when hurt comes, His love helps me continue to stay open.

I'm thankful for the unexpected friends He has provided that have turned out to be the best of friends one could ask for.
I'm thankful for His presence through the days when I cannot get myself out of bed, or when the day seems utterly hopeless
I'm thankful for His encouragement to fight the good fight and stay the course even when situations get really tricky.

Thank You Lord

DEFINITELY...

2011-11-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

You always want to go back and do things right... but when the day comes unexpectedly and you realize it's in the past and there's nothing you can do about it.. it's time to move on.

Even when you don't feel like it

2011-11-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

Analysis finals in less than 90 minutes...
This weekend has been the most laziest weekend ever.... By far...
My motivation levels = 0.
I guess it's time I made a list of productive things I could be doing
So here goes...

1) Recording - Here I am to worship
2) Senior Sem - Unshuffling tree- Compiling current data.
3) Bible studies on prayer
4) Practice piano or guitar

Convinced

2011-11-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

I'm convinced that the sufficient amount of prayer puts our hearts in the right position for God to use us.

How do you know whether you have prayed enough?

"Pray until you are convinced you are in God's presence then stay there until God tells you to stop."

Things to be thankful for

2011-11-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

Count your blessings name them one by one....
Count your blessings, see what God has done...

The view outside

2011-11-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

It was a moody day, things just weren't going right
Then I decided " Turn the blinds up" and I did.
Huge beams of sun rays filled my room, I looked up and I saw blue skies and a gorgeous tree with red leaves.
I thought to myself " I feel better already".

I marveled at the tree just about 100-200 feet away from me,
It was huge!, big, RED and I considered the colors of the sky above and the grass below that contrast it.
But all this was done with my window closed.
When I came to my senses, I opened my window, and the view became more spectacular.

Now I could feel the breeze, I felt the cool of the air.
There were no more window beams hiding parts of the tree anymore.
I saw clearly now.. But then I thought to myself, There's more than this!

So I jumped out my window, fully submersing myself in the sun that was outside,
Now my entire body felt the heat of the sun and the coolness of the air. I breathed it in, and I felt alive.
I approached the tree, first crossing the street, then walking onto the grass, where my feet felt the dew of the grass
I walked, barefoot, closer and closer, with each step I felt the mud in between my toes, but it didn't matter,
I couldn't remember the last time I did this.

Right below the tree, I looked up and marveled at it's magnificence. It height seemed like it touched the sky, it's posture grand.
But there was no stopping this, I started to climb this tree.
It was as if I was making a new friend and this was our interaction.
I explored the groves on it's branches, and it carried my weight projected by my palms and soles.

Now I sit in my room, and never again will the shades go back down. Winter is coming, and it's leaves will fall,
but this tree will always be in my sight, to behold with awe and wonder.

Lead

2011-10-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

It's been an amazing week and It all boils down to praying.
I haven't felt lead by God in this manner for a very very long time now,
It was mind blowing to experience God's plan for me.
From interactions that I was planning on having, to those that were unexpected and turned out magnificently.
I'm becoming a fan of sharing the gospel unexpectedly in unexpected situations.
God has shown me that it's not about convincing others, but more about telling others about your experience with Him,
It has to come from inside, it can't be made up. I can't share unless I've encountered God, and continue encountering Him

2011-10-26T07:08:00.001-07:00

I stand in the palm of the one who has the world in His hands.

I stand in the palm of the one that calms raging seas.

You are the rock that cannot be moved, You are the fortress that cannot be broken into

I, I'm just a wave caught in the ocean, easily swayed by the things that surround me,

But you are my strong tower, under Your wings will I find refuge.

You hold the future in your hands, yet you see every minuscule detail of the present

You are loving, more than I will ever understand, and You are the hope that teaches me to persevere

Not for my sake, but Yours, not mine, but Yours.

2011-10-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

Spending within my means...

I currently budget myself at 50 dollars a week, if I eat three times a day, that comes up to 21 meals a week, which tend adds up to less than 3 dollars per meal. And I must say, I have been eating extremely well.. I never realized how much I enjoyed cooking, the smells, the tasting, and the buying of different spices. All those things that I see in the supermarket, I finally get to try them out. Currently I have a cabinet with 15 bottles of different spices? hahaha.

What I've learnt : Balsamic Vinegar is my best friend for making steak.

Honey is a great friend for almost everything....

Invest in a Rice Cooker, your life becomes 10 times better.

In America, buy the chicken with bones, it's three times cheaper than boneless chicken breast. Debone it yourself and use the bones to make chicken essence.

The Oven is a wonderful thing. I've used it for 4 different meat recipes now, and I love it.

Comparing prices from store to store is vital! I once got charge 3 dollars for a red pepper at IGA, while it was only 1 dollar at walmart. Dang

Always have some kind of starch. Potatoes, pasta, rice... They are essential to keeping spending down.

I'm really enjoying living in a townhouse. I'm more conscious of how much money I spend which is a good thing. Glad I learnt this lesson before I had to go into the real world.

Week 8

2011-10-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Senior Sem is underway, so is Analysis and Music History. Jazz Band and Piano lessons will always be challenging, but what's life without a challenge?

Snow should be coming around the corner anytime soon. Can't believe I'm close to finishing 6 semesters at Hiram, Mind Blowing.

10 more days

2011-10-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I hope it's just temporary...
It's been one of the hardest things to do
But it has been one of the most rewarding
I'm glad this semester is ending soon,
It means the next one is coming,
and the next one is the last one.

WOW

2011-10-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

Just when I've started to get a hang of all this craziness, something new and big pops up..... are YOU causing this for a reason? Either way, I'll come out a better person than I was before, Promise.

Half way

2011-10-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Six weeks has gone by since school started.

Among the many things that I have learned from school, I'm convinced that the most important lessons I have learned have been outside the classroom. You see, I checked my schedule, and it turns out, I spend 10 hours a week working on Campus Ministry and Church related activities, 6-8 hours rehearsing for my piano lesson and jazz band and there's class work and my senior thesis. It's been really challenging. But what I've learned, first and foremost, is the indisputable fact that structure allows for growth. Creating a time table for myself and keeping to it has been a blessing. From the outside, it seems rigid or as if there is no room for flexibility, everything is arranged and creativity is limited. But in reality, everything that is contained in the schedule is everything that is of upmost importance to me. Why do I need flexibility when I'm doing what I want to be doing? Creativity blooms when I dedicated time and effort to a certain area of my life, there exist great lengths of thought and a deeper understanding of what I'm doing and how to use it.

Secondly, I learned that work that doesn't involve social interaction will be the least of my frustration because reading a book or preparing a class is predictable and can be controlled. You sit, you read, make notes, ask questions, do research, ask the teacher if you can't find out. All these necessities are in my control. What I'm implying is, working with people, interacting, relying, convincing, and communicating has been and will be the main source of frustration, and it is of upmost importance that I learn to react to it in a Godly manner. Relaying what you really mean as clear as possible but concise enough so that other's attention span can contain it.

In dealing with people, I've learned that word play is crucial. Using words like " If you're interested, join me" suggest a no-expectation situation, leaving the person not pressured to do or not do what you have asked them. " join me" or" come for this event now" suggest a negative reaction and a let down or falling short on the recipients side if they are unable to make it. Knowing when to use both is vital. Next, Having low expectations for others keeps your sanity in check because if there's no expectation, they can't disappoint you. But while having no expectations, you need to learn how to be persistent. A very interesting paradox.

Lastly, getting over the fear of confrontation and being able to talk about an ..... Issue.... is of upmost importance to learn. But learning how to engage in minimal conflict and maximum proper communication while confronting an...... Issue.... comes hand in hand. Another interesting paradox.

Most importantly, I've learned that as humans, as organic relationship beings, nothing is ever set in stone. Approaches need to change, adaptability is vital. But, none of this matters. If you maintain a relationship with God and put God first, if you allow Him the time to commune, relate, develop a friendship with you, He will reveal to you the choice of action to take even when you don't understand or are aware of the context of the situation.

Bottom line, there's most to putting God first than meets the eye.

Time

2011-09-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

It's really flying this time around. Before I know it, I'll be home.. Can't wait.

Doink

2011-09-25T21:41:00.001-07:00

With such volatile conditions, it's impossible to make long term decisions.

The completely unexpected birthday

2011-09-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

Prior to my birthday, there wasn't a single day in my townhouse where the kitchen sink did not have dishes or cups or silverware in them. On my birthday morning, I woke up, and it was empty!. I cannot explain to you how great that felt!! An empty sink is a wonderful thing.

Secondly, I have wonderful housemates. I told my housemates that I love root beer, and in all honestly, I really really really do!. So on my birthday, I got a 2 liter bottle of root beer. To add to that, one of my housemates made fudge.

To understand the magnitude of this situation, we're talking about four 21 year old guys living together, and the sink is clean, there's root beer and there's home made fudge! Even you have to admit that's pretty amazing. But it doesn't stop there, cause then Bobby(housemate) cooked dinner, and although I don't really remember the meal, it was amazing because that was the first time he was cooking in the house!!!

Later in the evening, I got a second bottle of root beer from Cait. Later again, I had one of the best practice times with Susanna. There's something about her spirit, whenever we have practice, it makes me want to worship, truly anointed. Evelyn and Latricia gave me a surprised call at night, and it was really good to talk to them for a while.

Before the night ended, Cait threw a pen at me, and I deflected it with a 8 by 11(A4) paper!!! Like a NINJA!!

AND LASTLY, to top it all off, you send me a text. I was wondering if I would hear from you, and I did. I'm glad we managed to talk and clear the air more. I'm really appreciative of how this whole situation is working out, I am really grateful to God and to you.

It was a great day. It was a very unexpected Birthday.

Bah..Red Tape....

2011-09-13T21:31:00.001-07:00

This is the second time this semester I'm dealing with red tape.... I hope a third does not come up in the coming week, I need a breather..

On the bright side, there has been positive encouragement from our effort so far. There were 4 new freshmen that came to bible study yesterday, that was really really encouraging. Out of the ten that showed up, only 4 were present two years ago, now we have a group of new faces. So far, I've counted seven new freshman attending our events, add that to the current group of people we had from last year, it's a pretty big group. When I saw ten people come for bible study, I was reminded of the people who did not come because of work and classes, and it was very encouraging because I easily named 5 more people.

I give thanks for the support that God has given me, it's been a very challenging three weeks, and I'm pretty sure more challenges are coming, I see them on the horizon already.. God help me.

New Semester

2011-09-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

This semester, I'm taking Music History 3, Real Analysis, Jazz Ensemble and a Piano Lesson.

My schedule is pretty Funky, Mondays and Wednesdays I go from 1-4. But Fridays I go from 1-630 straight. I have no class on tuesday and thursday though =).

It's been a busy first two weeks of school, The Net successfully hosted it's first ever Church Connection Fair where 9 churches around Hiram came out to meet the students of Hiram. We did this so that students could find a church that suited them. It was semi stressful planning it, but overall things went well.

This new semester has brought along a new housing environment as well. I'm no longer living in a dorm, instead I'm living in a house with 3 other guys. We all have our own room, there are two bathrooms in the house and a washing machine and a dryer. A fridge, stove and dishwasher has been provided for as well.

Overall, it's a pretty neat situation. I get to cook my own food, which I'm really happy about and having two off days to get other things done works out really well. I'm looking forward to this year and the things I'll be learning and doing. I have to say, I'm really happy about my housemates. It's only been two weeks, but so far the house has been really clean. Everyone's being responsible for their dishes and everyone's pitching in to clean up, couldn't have asked for a better set of housemates.

In all honestly though, I can't wait to graduate. I can't wait to finish my senior seminar, it's the big monkey on my back that I think will never finish. I'm working on it on the weekends, so I hope I can get it done and out of the way. Don't really enjoy math anymore, haha.

It's been a weird two weeks, there are nights when I wake up but I feel as if I'm in Malaysia, I experienced this during my first semester at Hiram. Anyway, God has been really good in placing strategic people in my life. I'm thankful for the people I've met and the friendships I've build so far, this gives me hope that this year will be good. But at the same time, I wish I was home. But nine months from now, I will be,and I hope I'll find a more stable environment than what I've been going through for the past 3 years now. God willing, that's what He has in stored for me.

So.....

2011-09-06T21:44:00.001-07:00

I really do enjoy reading your blog.

One more year...

2011-09-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder, what will I be doing with my life in a year's time?

As of now, I'm not even sure what country I'll be in a year from now, it's some food for thought.

I think the last time a decision like this came up was when SPM was over, the same question came up " What am I going to do?"

I think I have a better idea now, I finally know that I don't really like studying math anymore, other things interest me more, like music or political science. Maybe it's because I can actually read it twice and get a pretty good picture about what it's trying to say,
unlike mathematical formula's where everything is short form or symbols, it makes my head hurt.

I would like to be home a year from now, find some stability that has been missing for the past 3 years. But the past 3 years has taught me to appreciate what is at home, it has also helped me grow as a person since I was away from home. When you learn to adapt to a new environment and retain your identity, you gained a better understanding of who you are. You can see clearly what characteristics came from your nurturing environment and what is just innately in you.

I guess it would be ideal if I could say that I'm contended being in a foreign place, but I really can't... Maybe it's because there's hardship here, not in terms of school or living per say, but more towards achieving goals and realizing bigger dreams because everybody wants to do their own thing, so there is no collective effort towards something great, and I do yearn for something great. This is the part of me that wishes I went to a big school, where a collective effort is found is much more ease because there are just more people. But I am reminded of the treasures that I've encountered that I never thought I would have through coming to Hiram. It's not about coming to a small school, it's about coming to this particular place at this particular time, I guess you could say the timing is PERFECT.

This year I'm living with three other guys in a house, and that's never been the case for me before. So I'm really looking forward to it and experiencing what life is like with "Brothers". It's not the same as having friends, that's good but living with people is a whole different paradigm, and I'm excited for it. So far the house has been clean, we've clean it up twice, and I think that's God's doing. Probably would have killed or moved out if I had to stay with someone unhygienic.

So I'm definitely looking forward to this last year of school, and definitely looking forward to what comes after college, aren't you?

Thank You

2011-08-15T19:52:00.001-07:00

I love my summer holidays

2011-08-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've never bothered to look for a job when I come back for the summer,
I've had my reasons but this summer has been different. This summer has been one of
self discovery. The past 4 months of my life have been mind blowing. I've come to
a better understanding of what kind of person I am. I can pin point specific characteristics in my life now that I couldn't before.

In terms of achievement, I've learned that there are two ways to achieve that. The typical gt a job and some do something with your life, or the not so typical spending time with your friends and family through conscious effort in hopes of building, maintaining and strengthening the relationships I have with them.
Never in my wildest dreams did I picture a summer like this : A mended relationship, a new friendship, a much deeper level of friendship, a wedding, a funeral, sleepless nights, dealing with sleepless nights, a new passion for teaching. Personal discovery is a great achievement that is sometimes overlooked. I'm reminded of Abraham Lincoln's quote : If I have 8 hours to chop down a forest, I'll spend 6 hours sharpening my axe.

I think I'm in that stage of my life right now, the axe is being sharpened for something big. I do feel that with this I can choose my career and future better.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is take some time off, and I'm glad I did.

Too Soon

2011-07-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

Too soon my friend, Too soon,
In my mind, that's what I say,
but then again, maybe that's what the Apostles said when Father God took Stephen...

I cannot help but grief because of your passing,
I'm sure everyone else is too. We wish we could all hear your voice one more time,
see your smile, experience that comfortable feeling that you give whenever we're with you

You chose a different path, and we all always looked up to you for doing such a thing, it just never occurred to us that it would end this way, so soon.

We miss you, I've had conversations with people who are crying because of you,
Through this, you've definitely taught us to tell those around how much they matter,
because I don't think I ever got the chance to tell you how much you matter, and how much you were deeply appreciated
But that doesn't answer the question "why?"... We all ask "why?"

I think about your last moments, I speculate in my head what it was like. You in your white Uniform and that crew cut hair style, looking like a real captain, and my head tells me that you approached those last moments with peace,a calm surrender to God, just like Stephen.

I'm comforted that You are with Him, you finally get to see Him in all His love and glory. I'm sure He has told you why He took you, and I'm sure it's for good reason.
I'm gonna miss the side comments you leave on my blog, I really appreciate them, it was encouragement for me to continue writing. I'm glad you enjoyed them.

My mind brings me back to the last time I saw you, we had lunch, you, me and Alvin, in that malay restaurant on MRR2. Man, what I would give to have that lunch with you again, or perhaps to reply to your comments, and have you see them...

The past two days, man..... Everyone has been shaken, overwhelmed, shocked. But I'm sure you know this, because you exist outside of time now, and God can show you everything at once. I spoke to God the other day and I asked Him how you were doing...
I didn't get a reply, only a sense of peace in my heart, which tells me you're doing more than fine.

Now you get to fly without a plane, anti-gravity and all that. I'm sure you're enjoying it, and I'm sure Jesus is blowing your mind as I type this. I'll miss you, old friend. I would say rest in peace, but heaven is just to great for you to be resting, so I look forward to the day when I see you again, because God promises an eternity together, so while you are a part from us for time short time, you'll be together with us for the rest of eternity, I will raise my glass to that.

Here's to you Captain. God Bless.

I'm sorry

2011-07-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I haven't forgiven myself about it,
I hope you can.
You were there the last time I had to forgive myself for something like this,
it took me a whole year to do it,
So please forgive my absence, it stems from fear, sadness, and guilt because responsibility is a dish I gobble,
I'm sorry

One Day

2011-07-17T21:16:00.001-07:00

One day it'll all be worth it,
One day I'll be able to let go
One day I'll be able to give it up to chase that one thing down
One day the confusion will stop
One day, God will sanction a new focus in my life

But till that day comes, there's plenty I can do

Pushing through the barriers

2011-06-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

I've watched many documentaries and short video segments of Christians worshiping God with great passion, so great that they seem to be lost, unaware of their surroundings, but fully aware of God's presence!

I used to watch these clips and wonder, How is this possible?!!?? I didn't understand how one could worship and Be in God's presence for 8-9 hours straight. I mean, after like 2 hours, what else is there to talk to God about? What else could you pray for? Even when I had a list of things to pray for, It came to the point where I knew I wasn't suppose to pray like this, it wasn't what I was suppose to do.

Last week I started reading "Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. I read the first 20 pages, and I haven't read it since. Why? Simply because the first 20 pages gave me insight into the nature of God and what it means to seek God whole heartedly. Tozer said that the church had settled for complacency, accepting the dull and boring parts of Christianity as normal, but Tozer challenges this statement. He reminds us all that God is a person, and like a person, God can be moved by the actions of other people. This is a relationship we're talking about, a relationship with the Almighty.

Back to the point of worship, growing up in church, I was thought to seek the Giver and not the Gift, so I never strived hard during worship, because it did not require much effort(like 8 hours of striving) to access and feel God's presence. And I thought that if I pushed harder, I was striving for God's glory and not God himself, to feel the power of God's glory, to me it sounded like a very selfish thing to do. It sounded like seeking God's glory and not God.

Last week, God cleared up the confusion in me. He reminded me of worship, that worship was done in two ways, in spirit and in truth. Focusing on worshiping in truth, it means that we worship with a knowledge of who God is. With that being said, it follows that the more you know God, the better you can worship/love Him. It's the same with people, you can better love someone once you know them better.

And I realized that there were two ways in which one could know God better, one was through the bible where we study it and learn about God's behavior and personality traits. Secondly, we get to know God better through time spent with God, time dwelling in His presence, time spent not just conversing, but spent infusing ourselves with His glory. God's glory and presence carries with it His personality, His heart. The reason God does anything is so that we repent and through repentance we get to know him better. Therefore I believe that the point of experiencing God's presence is not just to get an emotional high, but to know God better!! To engage God and who He is by engaging in His glory and His presence.

Then it made sense to me why these people could spend so much time praying. They were trying to get to know Better. They were hungry to know who God is, to know God more than they knew before. Wrestling with themselves and their natural instincts, they fought and chose to focus on engaging in a mental intercourse with God. You see, the point isn't to come to the actualization that God is with you. The point is to seek God more and harder than you've ever had too. The focus is to ask God to reveal more of Himself to you, and to infuse in us the things that He enjoys, does not enjoy, is passionate about, delights in, and is strongly oppose too, in us. God presence carries His attributes with it. The reason we get an emotional high, is because we've finally found the person who we've been missing in our lives.

Since I understood this, prayer hasn't been about just feeling God's presence around me, it isn't enough to know that God is with me, I strive to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God! It's like being with someone you love, just having them there is good, but without any conversation and exchange of one's real self with the other, how can that relationship develop beyond what is currently is? There's a want to know the other person more personally, to know their likes and dislikes, which then enables you to love them even better than you had before.

Nothing satisfies safe

2011-05-27T20:10:00.001-07:00

Life was meant to be lived to the fullest,
It was originally designed with satisfaction in mind.
Fulfilment, Nourishment, Growth, Satisfication,
But for most, the ideals mentioned above are but illusions. We find ourselves
constantly pursuing these ideals through whatever means possible, but, to no avail do we find anything fulfilling or lasting. Excitement grows dull, pleasures grow numb,
fame and glory become merely toys that we grow tired of once we have acquired time. Nothing seems to satisfy. Nothing will Satisfy.

Nothing will satisfy safe a divine intervention. A personal encounter with the Almighty can bring a person to his/her knees, leaving them in awe of the insignificance of all created beings when compared to the Glory and Majesty of God Himself.

How odd, How strange, that God would bestow upon humans, creatures as insignificant as waves in the ocean, the ability to encounter and interact with Himself, the one True Living Being. Nothing satisfies safe a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. The one who chose to fore go His divine nature to become man that man would be reconnected to God! Nothing satisfies safe a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, God in the form of man.

Jesus Christ, deliberately became man that man might find in God one who chose to identify with the pain, suffering, anguish and thirst of man that never ceases to be satisfied. Not only did He identify Himself with us, He himself proved to be the source of life that never runs dry : The source of life, and life abundantly. This life could not be attained by any human effort alone, but only through the divine intervention of God pursuing man in the hopes that man would seek and nurture an organic relationship with Him. A relationship so rich that it would take an eternity to grasp, but yet so readily available to those who want it. In Jesus, there is life, in Jesus there is hope, compassion, and grace from the one who see's our hurt, flaws and imperfections, yet chooses to mend them by the power of His love. We love Him because He first loved us. Nothing satisfies safe a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. To anyone who calls on Jesus as Lord and Saviour, they will be saved.

Taken from : John 3:16,John 10:10-11, John 17:3, John 4:1-24, John 4:16
Hebrews 2:18, Hebrews 4:15-16, Hebrews 5:8-10
1st John 3:16, 1st John 4:9-11
Acts 17:26-28
Phillipians 4:6
Galatians 2:15-16
James 2:14-17

Just a few more days

2011-05-08T00:17:00.001-07:00

18 more days to be exact. I'll be home in 18 more days. There are people that I will never see again, people that I will miss. I fast forward time in my head and I think about the day that I have to return to Hiram again, it's not a happy day. It's a gloomy day because of the faces that I will not see. American College life is a 4 year transitional period, nothing in terms of friends are ever constant. Next year, I'll have to build new friendships, and I'm not really feeling good about it. I wish I was graduating this year, I should have been, then I would leave along with everyone else. But that's not the case.

God has a funny way of turning things around, I might not like the thought of next year, but He already has plans in mind, great plans. I don't think I'll ever accept that next year might be better than this year, but God has ways of making that come to past, and I would do well to not shut my head away from His course of actions.

I wonder what it'll be like when I go home this time around, what will have changed since I last been back? I still remember the Saturday night that I left last summer, I said my good byes to all in church, and I thought to myself, I'll be back in 9 months, now those 9 months have past.

In all honestly, I'm finding it hard to let certain friends go, people whose friendship I've come to love and cherish deeply, and it pains me to have to say good bye to them. It scares me because I don't know when I'll ever see them again. You wonder, is it worth it to build these relationships since they don't really last? To me, it is. It's been a great time of making these friendships count, they have brought meaning into my life and I hope I have brought meaning into theirs as well.

Consciously aware

2011-05-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've been aware of the people who read my blog for some time now, and in a way, it has inhibited me from blogging like I use too. Nowadays, before I blog about anything, my mind wanders through the thoughts of what others might think when they read it, specific people in particular, so I'm more consciously aware of what I write.

On a different note, this school year has gone by so fast. I've taken classes that I've really enjoyed such as history of jazz, Education culture and society, public leadership and public policy making. Then there are the classes that I enjoyed but barely made it out alive, namely my math classes- Abstract Algebra and Mathematical Statistics 2.

This school year has definitely been an emotional roller coaster like no other. I made lots of great friendships this year, I've reconnected with old friends and I've lost some along the way too. Personally, God has done major changes in my life over the past year, I shall only name the months because the events are much too personal, October, February, March, April. God has reminded me time and time again that nothing catches Him off guard, nothing surprises Him. He has foreseen my future sin and even with that knowledge has chosen to forgive me of it long before I committed it. What can separate me from His love?

I look forward to another chapter of my life, I'm currently 21, and a new phase will begin soon.. the next nine years of my life is going to be amazing. I just hope I'm ready for it.

Three week...

2011-05-03T21:06:00.001-07:00

My head is no where to be found in class right now.

Motivation to study : ZERO

Concentration levels in class : almost Zero

It's not that I don't want to concentrate or learn, but this morning class thing and lecturer going off tangent makes me tune off.

Times like these, you look at your CGPA and say : You can take a hit, You've worked hard enough all these years to take one hit.

Chicago

2011-04-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

I deliberately chose not to bring my camera with me for this trip, I wanted to try having a holiday without it, see what it would be like. It was weird....I found myself constantly wishing I had a camera, because I had all these pictures that I wanted to take in my head that I wish I could capture, but nonetheless, I really enjoyed my time in Chicago. In particular, I enjoyed the Chinese Dim Sum that I got to share with 10 of my Hiram friends. As I was eating in the restaurant, I felt closer to home.. I got to speak in Cantonese with the waiters and I realized how much I missed speaking Cantonese. I had the opportunity to share the different cuisines that I have back home with my friends half way around the world. I don't think I would be as happy eating chinese food alone, I would be happy but I would want to share how happy I was with my friends, and with them being there, I had the opportunity to do just that.

I've learned a lot about myself in the past school year, and now I've learned one more thing. There's such an excitement about sharing something you love with someone else, be it food, a place, an object, or an experience. I'm sad when I can't share a good experience with others.. I really am. Moreover, having someone experience the same thing you have makes the experience more memorable.. God definitely made me an extrovert.

Walk

2011-04-13T11:06:00.001-07:00

Took a walk around Hiram today during the Sunset... It's good to get out and feel the wind on your face. Ever wondered how the chirping of small birds are always pleasant? Small clues that give away the fact that there is a God who loves =)

Breathe...

2011-04-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

Some days... You just have to breathe....

Why I chose to be a Christian...

2011-03-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

I chose to accept Jesus as my Savior when I was 14. When I was 17, I chose to accept Him as my Lord and till today, I'm still accepting Him everyday and learning more about Christianity. But here I am, a 7 year old Christian, and I stand strong on my conviction that being choosing to accept Jesus and getting to know Him has been the best decision of my life.

From a philosophical standpoint :

I chose Christianity because I believe it places the value of humans higher than other religions. I've come to learn that as a Christian, I do not do good things to other people because I want to go to heaven. This shows me how I am not to treat those around me as a means to obtain something. I do good because God loves me and He loves those around me, therefore I want to love them too, regardless of what I get out of it. The only thing I get is the opportunity to please my Father in Heaven.

From a theological standpoint :

Christianity tells of a God who loved the people He created so much that He was willing to die for them. Many times I fail to comprehend why a perfect being would want to die for me, but that's the love of God, a God who is Love manifested. He died so that I could have a life with Him on earth and in heaven in the future.

Christianity focuses on our lives on earth as well as our lives in Heaven. God makes it clear to me that He cares what goes on in my life right now. He cares about giving me the best life I could possibly live. I have come to accept that it is a life that will contain suffering. But it will also contain opportunities to share God's love to other people, to sacrifice my time and resources for those around me, just as Jesus did for me.

Lastly, From my personal experience :

God reached out to me when I was 14. I wasn't the brightest, I wasn't the most athletic, I wasn't the nicest or anywhere near being humble. I didn't have a good relationship with my parents. But God took me in, God took this imperfect person, wipe the shame of his face and called him "My Son". God took my life and turned it around, He taught me that the best things in life are worth striving for. For me, it was to have a strong relationship with my family.And I am forever grateful to Him for them.

Time to be thankful

2011-03-21T19:16:00.001-07:00

I re-read some of my past blog posts. It showed me a boy who saw the beauty of God in the small things in His life.

It reminded me of the person I was and how I haven't been that way for a while now.

I forgot promises that God made to me,and then I looked around my room and realized it was a room filled with fulfillment of promises from God. My current leadership role, My guitar, My piano, My major, My room, my friends, My joy for music.

All these things, small things that are not mine, things I did not have to buy, people that I had no control whether I would meet them or not, a room that I got because I had a good lottery number by grace, a music program here that as I think more about it, I really enjoy.

Promises and fulfillment of promises.

Surely God was here and I did not know it.

South Myrtle Beach

2011-03-10T16:24:00.000-08:00

..... what a relaxing holiday... Now I definitely don't want to go back to Hiram...

So Mummy and Papa.....

2011-03-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

So... I forgot to tell you all that I'm on holiday this week... hehehe.. My friends and I drove 12 hours down from Hiram to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina =)..

Haha... Don't worry, I'll be safe =). Staying at a nice apartment where I've been cooking my own food for the past few days =). Doing pretty pretty well. hehehe

God Bless =)

From : Ken Jon

Railroads

2011-02-16T15:58:00.000-08:00

Inventing railroads and bullet trains across america would cripple to american airline industry. Their already in debt, and if they have to compete with railroads that are cheaper and just as comfortable, they'll probably lose.

Solution?

Someone needs to convince those airlines to take over the railroad industry....

Week 6 yo!

2011-02-14T14:50:00.000-08:00

Week 6 is one of those bizzare weeks during the semester.

Week 1, you feel like you're starting something new, so you feel the excitement. This excitement passes on into week 2, also because you're getting to really know your classes and whether you like them or not.

Week 3 is ok.... But by the end of week 3, you realize how fast time is flying and then you think that this is going to go by in a blink of an eye.

Week 4, your first test is within spotting distance, some within grasps, and you suddenly have a new motivation to study, because it's your first test and you don't know what to expect.

Week 5, you chill a little, because you've finish your first test and you can breathe easy for a while...

Then comes week 6... You have an assignment due or a test soon but you have little or no determination in class.... it gets harder to push yourself. week 6 is when classes are no longer new.. they may still be interesting, but no longer new.. plus the material gets harder. And then you realize... oh crap... I have another 6 more weeks of class... this is gonna be a long semester.....

You are here no matter regardless of how I feel..

2011-01-28T21:57:00.000-08:00

In all your ways acknowledge Him
And He will Direct your path.

Get through this week....

2011-01-23T15:17:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, it's so easy to lose focus on other things in the world because I'm too busy trying to get my work done. Throughout my day, all I think about is what work needs to be done and nothing else. It's easy to lose sight that there are other things God wants me to do....

Today I had a good reminder in church about my purpose in life. In all you do, acknowledge God, and He will direct your path.... Haven't been doing this lately..

New Semester

2011-01-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure why, but I'm at my lowest point in my college life right now in terms of motivation to study. Honestly, I don't feel like studying anymore, I feel a little burned out. I think about the rest of this semester and I can't wait for it to end. I think about this year being my last year in college and I can't wait for it to end. Maybe it's because I know it's gonna be a long year because I'm doing big classes and they're not going to be easy.

I look back on some of the choices I made and I regret not taking Discrete math as an independent study. Now I'm stuck having to do math stats 2 as a independent study and this really sheds new light on fear for me. The fact that I'm doing it alone makes it worst because I have no one to work on problems with. I hope I survive this class. I really do.

I don't know how this semester is going to play out, but I know God holds my future, so I know I'll be okay. The thought of not graduating scares me. Maybe I'm just homesick, that's all. I just don't want to be here, I want to be at home... hmm...

I want to go home....

2010-12-14T21:15:00.001-08:00

This past few weeks have been pretty depressing.... Freaking home sick.

I'm homesick because I find myself lacking a group of friends to hang out with that I feel entirely comfortable with.. It makes me think of church, wy lyn, family and high school friends and how comfortable and open I can be around these people.

I'm not homesick because of food.. definitely not.. I'm just homesick for some fellowship with Malaysians...

The Race

2010-12-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

The point of the race is to finish the race.... Not trying to run it without falling.

Christmas song brainwashing...

2010-12-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I just got the set list of Christmas songs from Dr Louth that we'll be performing on President's night. I dunno like 10 out of 17... hahahha This is going to be interesting...

On the side note, My class Education Culture and Society has 5 FIELD TRIPS!!! 5 5 5!!! WOOHOO!!! There's only 12 days of class!!! and I already had one today!!! Means out of the 11 left, 5 will be field trips!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOO!!!! MC2STEM School, Here I come tomorrow!!!!

dONE AND Done

2010-11-23T16:51:00.001-08:00

12 week done, I haven't been blogging not because I haven't found the time, but rather because I don't know what to blog about.. I stopped blogging when I went home over the summer, and I stopped because I figured my blog was to update people about my life in Hiram, but since I was back home, therefore I stop blogging. But when I came back, it just never occurred to me to start blogging again.

Hmm... I don't know what to say about this semester, it's been one heck of a roller coaster... Fall Semesters always past really fast.. and the weather is still warm, managed to go out in one layer yesterday and today.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Pittsburgh to spend thanksgiving with Joel and Anna, it should be a good time. I told my friends here that I was going to Pittsburgh to be Malaysian. I can't wait to sink my teeth into some Malaysian food.. SERIOUSLY... I miss being home terribly, what's worst, I found out that if I planned my schedule properly this semester, I would have been able to take this 3 week off, which means I could have had 6 weeks off... It would have been great being able to spend 6 weeks at home...

Will be heading to London in December to spend Christmas and New Years there, hopefully I'll be able to catch the Arsenal-Man City Match.. that would be FREAKING AWESOME!!! A trip that I've waited 14 years for... I use to wonder what it would be like to watch an Arsenal Match live, and now it's finally within grasps... OH wow... Amazing.

More and more I feel God calling me to be a teacher, to give opportunities to those who have none, to bridge the gap for those who can't help themselves... I believe that's where my calling lies...

My friends and I were talking about being missionaries, and I think the biggest thing I have to give up is a daily shower.. haha I dunno if I'm ready to give that up, but many people live in that kind of a situation... I've never been in a position of need, God has blessed me abundantly, but I do feel there's a need for me to learn the value of money...

3 week is coming, I hope I enjoy my education class, there'll be field trips and stuff, this is the first time I'll be taking an education class in the US, and I hope I really like it. On the other hand, I'm making the most of my music education here in Hiram, Jazz Band, Instrumental Improvisation, African Ensemble, Jazz History, Music Theory 1 and 2, Piano lessons.. hahaha Learnt so much about music it's really amazing =).. I seek to learn more about it. =)

The day comes

2010-10-22T16:35:00.000-07:00

Two more days till a wonderful reminder =).

Brrr....

2010-10-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

The sun has not been out for the past 3 days and it's been raining all these time, the weather is just so depressing. I remember this time last year the weather was perfect. It was weird because I did not see rain for so long when I saw it again one day, I realize that I forgot rain exist.. hahahahaha

On a different note, this week should be good, almost halfway of the 12 week and next week we're off to Cedar Point!!! Get ready all you roller coasters Woohoo!!

Fly away semester, Fly away!!

2010-09-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

three weeks down and almost 4 weeks now =). Really loving my new room, it's bigger than my room back home, haha =). There's a sweet spot by the windows that I do my quiet time at every morning =). It's great not having to worry about being too noisy in the room , don't have to worry about disturbing when trying to talk to anyone on the computer =). Just awesome =).,.. Pictures coming in tomorrow, 50 in total, I smell the weekend coming =), redecoration is on the way.

ON a different note, Heard something really profound today from a staff at Intervarsity, cool. and it's great to know my sister is safe in the UK already =).
Let's see what this school year brings =).

Wiping away the spiderwebs...

2010-09-15T11:10:00.001-07:00

More to come soon.

The Appropriate response.

2010-05-18T01:25:00.000-07:00

My plane ride mishap brought along a valuable question.

How should we respond when things do not go our way?

More specifically, what is the most excellent way or attitude to have when things don't go as planned?

For starters, let me share how I felt when my flight plans back home had to be changed. I was mad. I was mad because the plane had not left, I was at the gate but the pilot would not let me on. I was even more mad because I had to stay in an unfamilliar place alone. I was anxious and worried because all I wanted to do was get home and I had to wait before I could rearrange my flight plans, I did not know if I could make new plans. Mad, Frustrated, worried. That's how I felt.

Was my reaction justified? I think so... Should I have responded as such? Perhaps being angry, as long as I wasn't vengeful. Frustrated? Yes, just as long as I didn't dwell over the past for too long. What's done was done. Worried? Ah... this one maybe I could have dealt better with. I believe worrying is the one emotion that as a Christian I should deal with as soon as possible.

Worrying is something that I should not have to do. My God created the Universe, He's in charge of everything, nothing happens without Him letting it happen. That doesn't make God responsible for everything for if you had the ability to clear up someone's mess and you didn't, it does not make you responsible for the mess to begin with.

I did not deal with my emotions excellently, I let it get to me, and I didn't turn to God instead I tried to solve the problem by myself. It took me a night of unfulfilled sleep to realize my foolishness. Things will never always go according to my plans, I am sure that in the future there will be more crap coming my way, but the million dollar question is, How am I going to react to it?

I believe the most important lesson I've learnt is that God is in control. Combine that with the fact that He loves me more than anyone in this world ever could and would, that spells out a fontsize 96 sign saying

" Ken Jon, Chill....I've got this covered"

It doesn't mean I don't have to do anything, but it means it will all turn out alright. When we pray, we should never ask that unpleasant things never come our way, rather we pray that God's grace encompass all these unforseen circumstances and external factors that we have no control over and we believe that our prayer is heard by God.

God is Sovereign, RECOGNIZE THAT.

Money....

2010-05-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

This year I made 570 USD in Revenue....

Yesterday, One pilot made all that money disappear

Darn it.

Do you see God?

2010-05-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

Are you aware that it isn't God who is a part of your plans, but you who are part of God's plans?

Do you see the works of God that are happening around you?

Do you see the changes that God is making in the people around You?

Are you aware when He changes the spiritual atmosphere of the place you are in?

Pray. Let God open your eyes. When Jesus said " do everything as doing it unto God" He meant that in whatever you do, remember that it is God's work that you are doing. Your job is God's work, your behavior is God's work, everything you do in your life is God's work and you're just a part of it. It isn't yours to hold back from God and not let Him be a part of it. Rather, it's God who has offered you this chance to be a part of His work, and the best thing you can do is to say yes.

Tutoring...

2010-05-04T19:02:00.000-07:00

Last night, I decided to head down to the dining hall that was a 3 minute walk from my room. I've never really liked my room, but I was always grateful about it's distance from the dining hall, especially in winter. I decided to go down because I wanted to complete my homework for my current math class(Discrete Mathematics). As I walked through the door, I looked around the tables and chairs on the left, trying to see if there were people I recognized. My eyes instantly found it's way to the first table by the 30 feet tall Plexiglas that allowed in all the sun light we've been missing on in our previous dining hall.

At that table were 4 classmates, I assumed they were doing math too. My assumption was proven right as I approached their table, seeing multiple textbooks open at the pages that homework was assigned. I joined their table and begin doing the assigned homework as well. Reflecting on last night, I found myself at a table of freshmen students struggling to wrap their heads around the questions they had in front of them and worrying about how they would answer it. Before I continue, I must confess that there is a part of me that wants to help others improve in the things they are doing. I want to help, I want to teach, I want them to understand. Sometimes I come across as setting a high level of expectation for others, I'm learning to deal with that.

Because of this attribute in me, I took upon myself the responsibility of teaching them what they needed to understand. Now, the best part of this whole process was " I ENJOYED IT". From my point of view, It was the birds eye view of what steps needed to be taken. I could see the path to the answer clearly, but because I was in the sky, I had to find a way to communicate with them below in a way that they could understand me clearly or just teach them how to fly.

Mind you, these are not dumb students, they are very hardworking, and I think their effort and determination to understand what was before them spurred me on to become an even better tutor. There were times they did not quite understand me, at other times, they forgot what they understood, but still, as I look back, I'm so happy now that I was not discouraging, I think for once I managed to see them through God's eyes.

God knows what we are capable of, we might struggle with certain issues that seem impossible, but from His point of view, He see's that we are capable of being more than conquerors of it through Jesus Christ. And now I wonder, if I felt so passionate about teaching my friend's math, how much more passionate is God about teaching me everything in my life!!?

I can't understand it, but I want to understand it more than I do now. There's a yearning in me to pass on to others what I know. As I write this line, I'm excited and afraid, because teaching is something that drives me, but at the same time I remember the excruciating moments where I just did not want to go for my tutoring sessions. I need to come to terms with this. Does God want me to teach? I'm scared to know the answer... I'm scared to find out.

I have to give up my wisdom and trust God that if He wants me to teach, I will find the most fulfillment in it, that nothing else will be more fulfilling in life beyond the fact that I'm doing what God tells me to do. I need to trust God, I need to trust and obey.

18 more days?

2010-04-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

currently...

Premise p : Ken Jon is taking Discrete Math
Premise q : Ken Jon is bored in class.
Premise r : Ken Jon is not stressed.

p-->q and r , also read as if P then q and r.

Currently,

p.

Update

2010-04-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

Holidays are freaking amazing.... The thought that you have nothing to do is so amazing.. haha.. I wish I had another week. I think it helps a lot that I'm in Hiram over break as well. It's somewhere I'm comfortable, and there are people here who's experiencing the holiday the same way I am...

I watched Gladiator the other day, AMAZING!. I remember watching that when I was 8 or 9 and I totally enjoyed watching all the fight scenes..WOOHOO!

Anyways, It's only 20 something days till I get back.. I wonder what this summer is going to be like. It's another adventure that I'm excited about.

Till next time.

Ken Jon

Hmm...

2010-04-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching an interview with Malaysia's Prime Minister on Aljazeera.
Then I thought to myself, could I or would I be racially fair to everyone if I was prime minister? What does it mean to be racially fair?..

The merit system is good in the sense that it encourages competition, and it makes people work hard to achieve more with less. Yet at the same time, it's not suppose to be a dog eat dog world. The smart students are suppose to help those who are weaker, it is their responsibility to do so because they are smarter.

but yet with this system, how much time do you give a person before you say I've given him or her enough opportunities to prove him or herself? At the end of the day, I think employers are looking for smart, hardworking, honest workers. The quality of smart must be included. Being smart means knowing how much is expected of you. It also means that you do more than is expected of you because it shows you understand your role in the company(per say) and how a particular system works.

As of now, after that paragraph.. I will just be rambling now... hahaha.

I'm all for the case of "Kalau meluntur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya". But, what kind of buluh do we need to meluntur? Kalau meluntur buluh salah, mampuslah. I think one of the main things children should learn is their capability of performing a certain task. If you don't have an accurate measure of how much you can do, you might overload yourself or not achieve your full potential, which is both bad.

I strongly believe the reason I do well in class or school is because I know how much time I need to spend on a particular assignment, homework, piano piece, project etc etc in order to get in done. Sometimes I'm wrong, and I don't spend enough time on it, but if you know where you are stand, and the steps you need take to get from point A to point B and you know how much time you need to spend on each step.. that really helps a lot.

Therefore I will conclude this long post by proposing a learning chart for students.

When studying, make sure you know how much material you need to cover,
make sure you know you understand the material, better yet, recall it.

If there's step A-B-C-D-E.. Make sure you can recall at your fingertips all steps in any order. C-D-A-E-B, D-A-C-B-E, A-B-D-E-C. That means if you're studying chapter 5, if you stop half way and think about chapter 3, you must be able to recall what things you learn there, go back to chapter 1, recall what you learn.. and then go back to chapter 5 again and still be able to resume studying.

At least that's the way I would do it.

Protection

2010-04-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Looking back at the 20 years of my life, I am thoroughly convince that God prevented certain things from happening in my life. And He did it with the greatest intentions in mind to keep me from harms way.

It isn't to say that every detail of my life has been great,but there are defining moments that God has really been guided me without my knowledge that has made me who I am today.

The first one obviously was when I really accepted Christ at the age of 14. I didn't accept Christ in my own church, I accepted Christ at my best friend church's youth camp. And why did I choose to go? I don't remember, it wasn't even my best friend who invited me.. hahaha

Secondly was the decision to start playing the piano again at the age of 15 after a 3 year absence. I just picked up a song book one day and started learning to play chords..

Thirdly, I learned how to play the guitar because there were two other guys learning to guitar when I was 15 in church and I was so prideful I wanted to be better than them, so I picked it up.. hahaha, what the heck right?

Fourthly,the timing of me coming to Hiram. It took me a whole year and a half before I decided to come to America. In that year and a half, I learned so much about music and piano playing from Ovira and Michael, I learned things that prepared me for my life here at Hiram. I don't think I would be as good a musician if I came to America right away. To top it all of, God set me up with a friend in Hiram who use to study 5 minutes from back home!

It's absolutely mindblowing thinking about things fall into place. I'm in awe of God. And I can't help but wonder what's He preparing me for while I'm in Hiram right now, it sounds like it's really going to be exciting.

......

2010-04-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

As of now, I'm bored.... It's one of those Hiram things that really irks me sometimes.

There's just nothing to do sometimes,

There's only so much guitar and piano I can play

I'm thinking of things to do now. I think I'll do some reading after this.. it's better than staying online doing nothing....

Mornings....

2010-04-02T10:55:00.001-07:00

I stand firm to the belief that it is Ungodly to wake up at 6 in the morning, or any time before the sun is up for that matter.

The source of my grief is having to wake up at 6am one particular day this coming week.

I dunno, it's just one of those trials you have to learn to live with I guess.

Throughout my entire high school life, I've never pulled an all nighter, whether it was for studying or homework.. The only times I've pulled an all nighter was with my friends playing mahjong haha.

But this semester, I did an overnight for math. I think I rather pull an all nighter than go to sleep early and wake up at 6. hahaha

Something about that number 6... sheesh. 7 I can deal, 645, I can deal.. but 6!!!. 6!!..
I can't deal... hahaha...

For a long time I thought the hardest thing God would ask me to give up was food. But sleep trumps food.. I make sure I constantly get my 7 hours a day. But I think the time is coming where those 7 hours will have to be split into 3 two hour naps and 1 1 hour nap. And When that time comes, I pray I'm ready

Wy Lyn =)

2010-03-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

MIss you =)

100th Post

2010-03-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

So for the past few weeks, a lot has changed. The snow has gone, the rain has come

The sun was out for a long time and I was able to wear shorts and flip flops again. Awesome.

Also I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time. Found a funny video of me and my friends 4 years back,we were doing a russell peters impersonation. Couldn't believe how thin I was hahahaha.

So much to do this week, but I hope that every moment counts for something.

The weekend was something to be happy about. Arsenal won and chelsea drew. It would have been amazing if Man U lost or drew too. But it's alright. Hopefully somewhere between the last 7 games, they'll both drop more points.

Malaysian exhibition in college this week. will be singing a bm song, but I think I'll choose a indonesian song.. haha Just cause I know it better...Malaysian songs darn hard to sing.. hahaha

Today I learned that the mathematical equation (1-k/n)^n when taking the limit to infinity goes to 1/e^k. I find it so mind blowing and bizarre.. hahaha..

Off to the music hall!!!

Missing Home

2010-03-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. I've been counting down the days again... haha,it currently stands at 67 more days, seems like a short time, I wish it was shorter.. hahaha....

I read blogposts by Sue Ann and Ovira about Psalmist night, and man... I really do miss Psalmist night...

I don't think anyone minds the work sometimes, it's just great working together with all the youth from TOD, such a great group of young people to have =)

It's that comfortable feeling of home that I miss. The feeling of familiarity. Saturday worship practice sessions and there's an understanding among all the musicians about what to do, sometimes no words are needed, only eye contact..

Also, being able to act all crazy and nutty together, haha. I really miss that. I think TOD people are such emotional and expressive people, actually I think it's for most malaysians, we always show our excitement and passion for things, which I find totally awesome...

I think it's our sense of humor and the way we laugh also. We laugh at the way others laugh.. hahaha. I do have distinct memories of individual laughs, and it's nice thinking about it.

haha, I really miss home now. Just 67 more days!. Lord knows I can't wait

Pray

2010-03-07T20:27:00.000-08:00

Pastor "Phan" is a Vietnamese Pastor who evangelist to the people in the north of Vietnam. He accepted Christ at the age of 15 and begin to minister at the age of 24.

The first tribe Pastor Phan ministered to were known for worshiping evil spirits,drinking, smoking and fighting. The authorities left them alone. But when they became Christians and did not disturb anyone, the authorities became angry. Phan was persecuted by the police. He was put into prison and was forbidden from having meetings.

The authorities forced believers to re-established evil spirit altars in their houses. Despite all this, Phan brought 50 people to the Lord Jesus in 2007 and baptize 46 new believers in the first half of 2008

Taken from : The Voice of the Martyrs, November 2009 issue.

Please take this moment to pray for Pastor Phan.

Pray for
1) Encouragement from God that He keep fighting the good fight of faith
2) That God heal him and those he teaches from any injuries they might have sustained from persecution
3) Bravery to do what God wants him to do
4) A hunger to read God's word among those he teaches that they may know who God is

Thanking God

2010-03-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

I revisited the second blog post I posted on this blog, It was a post of thanking God
for the year... I didn't do one for 2009, so I'll do one for it now

January

1) Thank You Lord for giving me a good roommate in Hiram
2) Thank You for the courses that my teacher sign me up in
3) Thank You for people such as Nate, James, Evan, Britt,Emily, Kelly, Amelia and Alex

February

1) Thank You for Xin Lu and the awesome chinese new year dinner we had at her place
2) Thank You for the Net
3) Thank You for winter jam that year. little did I know how important some of the people I met were going to be in my life
4)For sustaining my and wy lyn through this tough time of being apart

March
1) Meeting Joel, Anna and visiting Mei Yee in Ozarks
2) getting me on another flight to Ozarks since the first one was canceled
3) The wonderful weather after spring break
4) A great room mate Evan whom made sharing a room very easy to adapt too
5) God's help through the stupid rhetoric's class.. hahaha
6) The awesome piano room in the music hall that has forever changed my life
7) 4th Whit and the awesome big flexi glass that lets so much light in

April
1) Term break, going to Boston
2) Good grades for all classes
3) Dominic, for letting me stay in his place when I visited Boston
4) Britt and Emily who I deeply appreciate for sending me and picking me up from the airport
5) Being able to keep up with the crazy linear algebra class
6) Ron Otoo! For making class colorful! hahaha
7) Awesome 1st choir performance

May
1) A good grade for linear algebra
2) Great time during the 3 week =)
3) For providing me with a back up plan when I missed my flight to go home
4) Being able to go home!
5) Seeing my mom cry when she saw me at the airport
6) Malaysian food!!!!
7) Returning home on a sunday, going to church for service right after I got back =)
8) Being able to see Edo and Michael before they left
9) Pushmore gym!
10) Being able to see Wy Lyn again!

June
1) being able to drive again and have such a nice holiday!
2) Being able to serve in church, the usual friday, saturday and sunday church routine
3) The awesome heat in Malaysia =)
4) Cheap food and cheap cinemas
5) Dates with Wy Lyn
6) Being able to see my grandparents again
7) Waking up with nothing to do

July
1) Penang Trip with Wy Lyn, Tsing Hsieh and Fung Wern
2) God keeping me safe on the road and no driving tickets
3) Bali Trip! One of the best holidays ever!
4) Grace and her mom for planning such a wonderful time for us in Bali
5) First experience of eating Dog meat, haha

August
1) God's peace as me prepared me to go back to US
2) My parents, just for who they are
3) Youth Alive members, it's always fun being around them
4) All the time I spent with High School friends.
5) For a great best friend in Kevin
6) The awesome dinner with wy lyn and her parents
7) Hanging out with Youth Alive members the night before I left, trully awesome
8) For delaying my flight the next day from 9 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon =)
9) For the wonderful seat placement in the plane, being able to recline all the way from KL to LA is awesome
10) Being able to speak mandarin, I helped a lady in labor translate what she wanted to say to the air stewardess.

September
1) Being able to see Nate, James, Britt, Emily, Kelly, Alex and Amelia again, sadly Evan did not come back
2) Great class schedule, what a semester indeed....
3) The leadership group of The Net, it's great having someone you can talk to about your relationship with Jesus
4) Phil, for selling me the best guitar I've ever laid my hands on.. haha
5) New Malaysian friends ( Calvin and Alicia)
6) Getting to know old friends and meeting new friends like Zach, Colee,Evelyn, Adam, Jen, Hannah, and so on so forth... haha
7) Great piano teacher Fusco
8) The New dining hall!!!
9) The Net worship team and prayer groups
10) Visiting Joel in Pittsburgh!
11) Birthday surprise! Thanks!!
12) Wy Lyn's birthday and all September people's birthday!

October
1) Great people in Calculus 3 who enjoy working and laughing together
2) playing soccer with new students
3) The awesome meals Britt, Kelly, Alex and Amelia cooked for us
4) Apple picking!!! YES!
5) Nate's birthday! ahaha
6) New handphone
7) Jon and Rene
8) Being able to serve in church!!
9) Finding a church that suited me well
10) One year of being a boyfriend

November
1) Thanksgiving!!! What wonderful food thanksgiving brings
2) Being able to spent my holidays with Jon and Michelle in sunny california
3) A good run to the end of the semester
4) Great time meeting new people at the Net
5) Wonderful girlfriend who puts up with me being overseas
6) Good grades for the semester

December
1) An awesome 3 week course in differential Equations
2) Not needing to take the final exam and still getting an A
3) Counting down the days in low double digits before I got home
4) Being able to go home for Christmas
5) Celebrating Christmas in church back home
6) Seeing Wy Lyn again
7) Spending the new years with Wy Lyn

Thank You Lord

=) Joy....

2010-03-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

Few weeks ago I ordered two packets of curry chicken from

http://www.asiansupermarket365.com/

I'm on spring break this week, so this week I cooked it up and I must say, it was
the best meal I've eaten in a while now =)...

I can't really describe it, but I'm really contented with the food I've been having this week

Yesterday, Phil cooked lasagna for me, nick and diudone, it was kinda cool having a bible study where there was one White American, one African American, one African and one Malaysian Chinese. I don't think anyone realize the difference of skin color among us.

This is one of the other reasons why I like studying here... People embrace your differences and they are used to it. No one has to be ashamed of their accent or the way they talk =).

I was glad I managed to share my curry chicken with Phil, Carmen(malaysian girl in whose house I cooked), and Huan Ran ( chinese china girl living with carmen)

Low and Behold, my creation =)

Pain... What can you do about it?

2010-02-27T14:55:00.000-08:00

When something tragic happens in the world, our heart's should break

We should cry, we should wonder why..

But most of all we should ask ourselves what we can do for those who are hurting..

Today, there are those who are trying to live without having their parents around,

what are we doing about it?

Today, there are those who sleep without a roof over their head, exposed to rain, sun, heat, and snow and can do nothing about it. What are you doing about it?

There are those who die because they could not afford the vaccine for the common cold, what are we doing about it?

If there are people hurting in the world, we should share their pain and they should share our joy....

There is an organization called compassion international. They're a Christian organization that are currently sponsoring over 1 million children around the world. They provide children who have no means a way to live a fulfilling life.

and today, I'm advocating for them. Because for 38USD a month, a child can have access to

1)clean food and water
2)Education opportunities
3)Medical care
4)learning the true values that make life worth living.

So many of these things we take for granted, so many people need our help.

Please help them, sponsor a child today at

http://www.compassion.com/

Every child deserves a good childhood, every child deserves to be love, won't you fill the gap that stands between them and a fulfilled life?

Snow

2010-02-26T11:52:00.000-08:00

I must say.. I've grown fond of the snow....

I know it sounds bizzare to many people, but snow is really very nice.. It's the blistering cold that is aweful...

We had a snowstorm yesterday and the snowflakes were huge, not huge huge.. but bigger than normal huge.. So I took a closer look at a snowflake, and it really is very beautiful. The intricate detail of a freshly fallen snowflake was so cool, I could see the design and the shape and the edges of the flake... And I marvel at how each snowflake is different =)

Along with that, the snowstorm in the middle of the night provided we with a very nice slideshow of snowflakes flying in all directions outside my window. It's so serene with the lights off just watching the snowflakes fly wherever the wind takes them.. One moment it's going to the left, then it gets all random and chaotic then it goes to the right, then it comes towards the window or goes away from it =)

I wouldn't want to live in winter all year round, but I do enjoy it when it's around =)

2+2 = 5

2010-02-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

Found this interesting little thingy just now.. hahahaha...

proof that 2 +2 = 5

let x = y
hence x^2 = xy
then x^2 - (y^2) = xy - (y^2)
factorise -> (x+y)(x-y) = y(x-y)
hence (x+y) = y
since x=y, then 2y = y
hence 2 = 1.

Subtract one from both sides, hence 1=0.

then 2+2+0 = 2+2+1 = 5

Therefore 2+2 = 5..

haha..

Unfortunately moments after finding this, I found out why there is a problem in the math... Oh wells.

Papers...

2010-02-11T20:14:00.000-08:00

Some days you're given a paper to do and you just feel like you're vomitting it out,

it doesn't look good, you read it through and you go "man..."

but on days like these, remember that good papers are hard to write, and vomiting one is hard too.

So when you feel like you're vomiting a paper, remember that it could be a good one =)

=)

2010-02-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

Freewill and Freedom

2010-01-30T09:21:00.000-08:00

There is a subtle difference among those two words.

Freewill consist of the ability to chose, that sounds about right.

But Freedom is a whole other issue. Freedom represents being free from something ie : a person, an object, a desire, a threat, a responsibility. That's freedom, not freewill.

What God promised us was freedom from sin when we let Him be the Lord of our lives, not freewill. He promised us a life free from sin, a life not bounded by one and a life without one.

He gave us the freewill to choose Freedom from sin.

Everyone following so far?

Essentially, a life free from sin means I should not choose sin anymore. Therefore I forsake my freewill for my freedom.

If you look at the life of Jesus, that's what He did. He forsook his freewill and submitted to the will of God, that we might be set free and might enjoy a life of freedom.

So if you think about it, having freedom actually means having to give up something. Because if you want a life free from sin, you have to give up sin. If you want a life free from junk food, you have to give up junk food and similarly, if you want a life free from soft drinks, you have to give that up.

I think this is where people misunderstand the Gospel. When we share the gospel, we must be sure to underline and be clear that God offers a life of freedom from sin. It means He forgives us, but we have to give up sin(with the help of God and Jesus) and do what He wants us to do.

Well, you ask... That's not a very free life is it? I'm bounded by things I cannot do.. That seems like a life not worth living since I have less choices.

However, when God promised us a life free of sin, He didn't say we would have to do it by ourselves. He said He would be there to help us and guide us and teach us what to do. He is our support when we fail, He is our comfort when times get rough, He is our peace when we worry too much.

Use your free will to Choose God's will for your life.

Choose God's will and freedom from sin.

Walking on water

2010-01-26T10:29:00.001-08:00

My mom walks on water, that's what God told me today...
I think about the countless days and hours she has spent in that place call School
and I am in awe at the way at the way my mom lives her life.
Most people would have drown in the sorrow of a stupid school system and most people have,

But not my mom, she's a fighter.. and even though things get tough, she manages to overcome them

I really believe that God carries my mom throughout school days and sustains her...
She deals with so many issues in school and so much work but she still enjoys teaching,
her passion to educate and care has never fluctuate, it's really amazing if you think about it..

The countless days I hear her say at 4 in the afternoon " I have not eaten since breakfast"
You'd never guess she had not eaten!
she still has the energy to do the things that need to be done.

I think she's really tapping into God for her strength and endurance
I think my mom embodies the verse Galatians 6:9

"Therefore do not be weary of doing good, for at a proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up"

It's an honour to call her my mom, I will do well to behave like a son of hers would.

Many many years and still going strong- Debbie Yeong/ Tan Tee Hwa

This semester....

2010-01-18T14:22:00.000-08:00

This is going to be an interesting semester...

So far I'm taking Math Stats, Music Theory 2, and Early Modern Philosophy...

How bizzare the combination of my subjects are... haha...

As I reflect on myself a year ago, I remember a 19 year old alone in the cold not liking the place
he had arrived it. It seem cold and unfriendly...

But a year on, and Hiram in my heart has been almost like home, although Malaysia will always be first home.

When I came here a year ago, I had no one, and I really needed to rely on God, I remember crying in the early hours of the morning asking God why I came here....And God was there to
carry me through...

Now I year later, I have many friends, awesome friends... I have a much better social life.. and it's easy to get distracted and not rely on God..

However, I am reminded that the friends that I have, the life that I have I owe it to God.. What I have I owe it all to God... And although I don't cry as often as I did a year old, it's because God has given a reason not to be sad... Instead He's given me reason to rejoice!

So I am thankful for everything here at Hiram, and I thank God He lead me here even though I was not aware of it =)

Hiram

2010-01-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

Back in the Cold.... Will post up pictures soon...

Sore Loser...

2009-12-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

I'm a sore loser... I admit.... I hate losing... I always want to win....

I don't think being a sore loser is a bad thing, I think guys should be sore losers,

I think losing should motivate us to put more effort into what we're doing,

It's hard for me to accept defeat graciously, when I lose at something, especially at something I'm good at

it makes me furious. At that time, I admit defeat, but I say to myself that it won't happen the next time...

I honestly believe, being a sore loser is not a bad thing... You congratulate whoever won or did better, and then you work harder so that you don't have to do it again... and when you win, you don't boast.. but you're encourage to teach others what you know so that everyone wins....

Honestly, God knew what He was doing when He gave guys a Big Ego... It's not a bad thing,
Our Ego's make us thrive to be better... That's why it's so hard to accept defeat....

So to clearify everything I just said

1) I hate losing
2) When I do lose, I do my best to accept it graciously
3) It's very hard to let go of losing because losing makes you feel like less of a man
4) Losing should make us strive to do better instead of sulking over the past and being a big baby about it.
5) God gave guys big ego's for a reason

Doing Good

2009-12-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

Today, at this moment, I want to talk about something that has been at the back of my head for awhile now...

I want to talk about the concept of doing good, why we do it and the consequences of acting in such a manner.

I want to talk about the idea that " those who do good will go to heaven"

This idea is an idea that is believed by many people, whether or not we have a religion, we all have some sort if belief system, and the majority will agree with this idea..

I do not hold any sort of resentment of negative feelings for people who take this idea. However, after much though, this idea became a little provocative to me.

You see, I find this idea to be a little selfish.. My point is this, we only do good because we want to get something out of it, not because it's the right thing to do. Do you see where I'm coming from? The question I would like to ask people who hold this belief to heart is this
" If you didn't have to do good in order to go to heaven, would you still do it?"

Secondly, I find this idea to be a little disrespectful to people. Hear me out, If we practice this idea then we treat the people and things around us as a means to an end and not as an end itself. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

People become a means for you to get something, they become a tool for you to achieve something, and I don't like the idea of treating people that way. I want to treat people as human beings, I want to be good to them because they deserve to be treated well, not because I get something out of it. If I do get something out of it, then it's a bonus for me. It was not my original motive and it will never be.

This is one of the main reasons why I decided to be a Christian. It's because doing good will never get you to heaven. I am good to others because I believe it's how Jesus would want me to treat them, not because I have to earn my way to heaven.

Jesus said " This is eternal life, that they may know You, the one and only true God and Jesus Christ whom you have sent". I am a Christian because I know Jesus personally, that is my eternal life. Where I end up after I die doesn't matter as long as I end up in a place where Jesus is with me.

Done and Done.....

2009-11-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

I scarely missed out on an A for Calculus 3.. Argh!....

A difference of only 0.5 points made the difference... Argh!.....

Oh wells =). I will smile because it has been a good semester, didn't really like it at the beginning

almost wanted to switch my major because Calculus 3 and Chaos was so hard, but this trully has been a rewarding semester =).....

I've gained ppl who share the same believes for me for whom I am eternally thankful for =).

Combined Bible study picture from last night... Props to Collee ( Girl next to me), Zach (right), Adam( left) and Evelyn ( yellow shirt).

Thank You for making this a wonderful semester... Enjoyed all the laughters and mishaps we shared.. hahahaha... Hoping to do the same next semester!.

You ....

2009-11-20T20:12:00.001-08:00

I miss You....

Time to start counting down the days... just 33 more =)

=) =)

To my dear Sisters

2009-11-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

To my dear Sisters Sue Ann and Sue Jan,

I look forward to seeing you in Christmas, it's been about 8 months since our whole family was together, and I really miss you guys.

So, along with Christmas, are Christmas gifts... =). So... For your christmas gifts, I'm making room in my luggage for two things that you two would like from the US granted those things aren't huge and I still have enough room for me to bring my clothes back =).

So do let me know what's on your mind and how your younger brother can be of help =).

Love,

Ken Jon.

The youngest but the tallest. HA!

Grace....

2009-10-30T18:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes God limits our growth,
He stops us from exploring or discovering other truths,
It's not because He doesn't want you to know these things,
It's just because it's not time yet.

When we try and try to grow deeper and deeper in God,
maybe sometimes God wants us to spend
more time on certain truths that He has already revealed.

As hard as we try to learn, God is still the teacher,
and it is up to Him to decide whether to hand
a new lesson for us to learn,
or maybe there are still things we have not discovered from the
previous lesson He gave us.

My father.....

2009-10-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

My father is running 11KM tomorrow....

SIAO MAN.... Darn paiseh.. I run 5km also wanna die dy.. hahaha

Darn fit LA YOU!

hahahaha... All the best for tomorrow!

My father proves that at the age of 53, you can still be very healthy and active!

One year......

2009-10-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a year, It's been awhile,

Yet all this time, you've made me smile =)

It's been a year or shall I say....

The beginning of a very bright sunny day =)

It's been 12 months since I first called you,

yet till this day, I still love calling you

So now everyone knows It's been a while

Since you said "yes" and made me smile =).....

Happy Anniversary Ee Wy Lyn =)

Thank You

2009-10-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

Everyday we should say Thank You Lord atleast once......

We might not sense Him, but He is there around us all the time, he's so close to us, but we're not paying attention

So take this time to say Thank You Lord =)....

Thank You Lord =)

How much do you want it?

2009-10-09T18:10:00.001-07:00

Jesus asked " Do you want to be healed?"

He answered " Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the pool is stirred. By the time I get there, someone else is already in"...

He wanted to be healed, he tried, he tried everything....

Do YOU want to be healed? Have you tried everything?

Taken from John chapter 5: 6-7....

Zeno's paradox's paradox.....

2009-10-01T19:48:00.001-07:00

The Zeno Paradox implies that motion is not possible... He uses the example of a runner trying to run 100 meters, so the runner has to reach all the half way points first before reaching the 100 meter point, so therefore since there are a infinite number of half way points, it needs an infinite number of time to complete it, and since humans cannot run for infininty time, movement is not possible.

However, is motion is not possible, how is interaction possible? How can we interact if we cannot move?

So, if Zeno is right, therefore this needs to imply one thing : Everything is at the same place. In order for interaction to happen, things need to move, we need to shake hands, we need to talk to build connections, we need to socialise with people. So if Zeno is right, and we all are not capable of motion, therefore everything has to be at the same place at the same time. But since space is limited, therefore nothing can be at the exact same place at the exact same time

Therefore the Zeno Paradox is false.

Please feel free to comment and give your opinion on this.

LOCD.....

2009-09-28T16:31:00.001-07:00

Little OCD +).

I realise today that using sit down toilets are very unhygienic, especially for guys....

Since we have to lock and open the door from the inside, no one really gets to wash their hands before they lock or open the door, meaning all the bacteria from every guy that used that toilet bowl will be on that door handle....

I want a urinal...............

It is well in my soul

2009-09-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

The author of this song lost his son, his business, and his daughters....

While he was sailing to Europe to get his wife after her ship had sunk and her daughters died,

He wrote this song down as he passed the point where he's daughters passed away.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
- Refrain:
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Open doors

2009-09-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

One of the key things about my prophecy that I really held on to was the fact that God would open

doors for me.

My last semester was catastrophic for me, it was new and it was hard meeting new people, finding a place to serve and being active...

But that prophecy made me realise that I can't do anything to open doors, only God can open those doors

So far this semester, God has really opened many doors for me... Last night was a great example =)

The leader of our christian college group ( the Net), Phil called me, He asked me to come to the Net meeting, I was hessitant with the amount of work I had, but I went anyway.

There at the meeting, Phil asked me to serve in the music team, I gladly obliged =). Haha...

At the meeting, there was a lady there who was in charge of our group as well, She heard that I played the piano and she told me that her church needed a pianist.... I gadly obliged as well.

It's things like this that make you really feel in awe of God's presence... It was all in His timing..

As the night went on, I found out that Phil was staying in the townhouse, he invited me over to check out his place, which was really very very nice.. they have a tv that's like only a head shorter than me... lol......

Anyways, while I was there, I noticed he had a guitar but he said he didn't play it anymore....

As I left his house, I wondered whether he wanted to sell it, I texted him

He replied back saying he's been trying to sell it for months now... hahahahaha... and it's a really sweet fender acoustic electric guitar =)... He sold it to me for 100 USD, and he gave me a stand plys a tuner as well.

The point of this story is, if I had said no to Phil's invite that night, I might not have been part of the committee, I would not have met the lady who's church needed a pianist, and I probably would not have been able to buy Phil's guitar....

Sometimes when the opportunity arises and you know you didn't do much to earn it, it could be from God..... And when you do decide to walk into that open door, you'll be filled with awe of how much God actually loves you despite your faults =)

Her.... =)

2009-09-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

There's not much I can say except that I really really miss her,

she makes me smile even though we're seperated by many many miles

I can't help but think of her, and when I do, a little sigh of happiness wiggles it's way out of my mouth

This post is just for her,

just because I know a smile will wiggle it's way out of her mouth when she see's this too =)

Impressions

2009-09-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Two days before I left for the US, I had a long talk with Kevin....

And in that talk, I had a revelation, one that has really changed my world

It's a simple matter of perception, "how you view yourself and others around you" to be precise.

Last night, as I was talking to one of the Malaysians here at Hiram, I brought up a very old Idea of mine that I used to apply....

I said " If you want a good partner you better make sure you're a darn good one as well"

What I was trying to say was " I want someone of equal standard and quality as me"

and " I didn't put in all this work into being good for no reason"

But as I said those words, I realised something.... I didn't believe a single word I said.....

I did not believe what I was saying...

Perhaps it was because of what Kevin said, He said " If you keep comparing yourself to others, you'll never be happy"...

As I thought about that, I realised it wasn't just about comparing myself to those "better" than me, but it covered those who were " not as good" as me as well....

Then the climatic revelation struck me.

As Christians, we are told to see the good in people,

But how can we if we already lable them as " being better" or being "worst' than us?

How can we see their true beauty if we focus on the things that bug us?

A sculpture looks at a rock, He see's a statue.....

Most of the time, we see a rock and all we see is it's imperfections, whether it has mold growing on it or whether it's even on each side...

We need to see the statue in the people around us....

As God looks pass our imperfections and see the person that we can be,

We should do the same for others too....

Perhaps then, as we treat those around us like the people they can be,

they'll see what they can be too..

Cravings...

2009-09-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

I suddenly have the craving for Sarawak Mee...

It's salty noodles with ikan bilis and an egg all mixed together with the beautiful drug which is dry chili....

My Gosh.... I want! I want!!..

And as I type this, Psalmist coffeee house is being held in my church! ARGH!!.. I want that fried chicken also!!!! WAH.....

Malaysian food!, please come to me.... please please.....